Britain’s Got Cheese: Winners Announced

France may be regarded as the world’s number one cheese-loving country, but us Brits are not far behind. Dairy farmers in the UK have been making cheese for as long as cows have possessed udders, and our fridges are habitually stacked with slabs of Cheddar, Red Leicester and Wensleydale.

British talent with cheese-making doesn’t end there though. No one can seriously claim themselves to be a cheese-lover unless they’ve experienced Stinking Bishop, Colston Bassett Stilton or Cornish Yarg.

Additionally, we’re very cosmopolitan these days, so we are just as likely to add a slice of Gouda, Gruyere or Gorgonzola to our crackers … but which cheese do we favour the most?

To end the sleepless nights suffered by countless thousands while pondering this issue, and to celebrate British Cheese Week, a survey has been conducted by the legendary pickle manufacturers Branston to finally cement an answer to the poser of the UK’s favourite cheese. Two thousand people (and possibly a few mice) were asked to name the cheese they find the cheesiest.

And, to be honest, the announcement of the winner came with about as much surprise as does news that Novac Djokovic had won a tennis match, or that a member of UKIP had said something controversial.

So, no prizes and definitely no cigars for guessing that the UK’s number one cheese is Cheddar.

Unlike the 2015 General Election, this was no close call. Four out of every five people questioned had no hesitation in nominating Cheddar as their favourite slab of the old yellow (or white, or orange) stuff.

The survey also revealed that the average UK cheese consumer enjoys around four servings of cheese each week, and that nearly eight percent of respondents confessed to devouring an entire block of every mouse’s favourite nibble in a single sitting. Another surprise came with the revelation that 26 percent of those questioned confessed to ‘eating melted cheese with everything’.

Continuing the countdown: standing – or rather flopping all over the silver medal podium was Mozzarella, with a score of 38 percent – a mere 42 percent behind the gold-medallion-wearing Cheddar.

Taking the bronze was another home-grown talent in Red Leicester, with a well-deserved score of 32 percent.

The full top ten list was as follows:

[1] Cheddar
[2] Mozzarella
[3] Red Leicester
[4] Brie
[5] Parmesan
[6] Stilton
[7] Wensleydale
[8] Feta
[9] Camembert
[10] Cream cheese

Victoria Adams, a brand manager for Branston said: ”Whether it’s cheese and crackers, a classic sandwich or a chunk of cheese on its own, our research shows that Brits just can’t get enough of cheese.”

Notorious cheese-lover Wallace of ‘Wallace and Gromit’ fame was unavailable for comment over the poor showing of his favourite – Wensleydale – in the list. Gromit was also unavailable for comment as he doesn’t have a mouth.